The Interns Are Here - Heaven Help Them

Summer is here and an entirely NEW (read as young,naïve and inexperienced) crop of interns have come to experience New York.

A few words to these new interns as they set out to become a statistic...

Firstly, welcome to New York.
As not to get yourselves hurt (I'll focus on the ladies) let's discuss some do's and don'ts shall we?

Do quietly step on to the subway at rush hour and don't bitch about just how unfair it is that it's so crowded. There are people in that car who have not only been packed in there all morning, but for many morning over many years and a comment like that can get you an extra bump or nudge...or they simply won't move to let you on, or worse.

Once on the subway do quietly discuss amoungst yourselves. If you haven't been taught already in life, when riding public transportation you need to use your INSIDE voice. Shouting to your friend who's standing next to you is NOT needed.
Let's take your downtown trip on the #1 this morning for example, shall we?

I understand from your loud conversation that you were "like" out all night, are now "like" late and your ears may still be ringing from that "phat DJ". I also know that you drank yourselves into a stupor at "some bar" "somewhere" and you can't remember anything else except that the bartendor just kept giving you drinks...and that you have to find it again tonight because it's open bar and "Jewish girls & free drinks, Wow!" Your words, not mine.

I know that you've been here a few days and you're here for a whole month while you're interning with a certain "like" online fashion magazine which I'll leave unnamed and I know your names because you yelled them to the entire car as you asked that young lad if he waitored because you "think" he looks EXACTLY like your waitor from last night, but you can't be certain since you were both "so hammered."

I learned all of this while knitting my Jaywalkers (which are cruising along on my 2 circular additurbos) in the same subway car as you.

Ladies, you both are young, cute and have "I'm naïve and new to town" written all over you.

One might think that this is all common sense - and I'm not aiming for you to be paranoid - just careful. Each summer we hear of visiting folks who were hurt or "somehow" got into trouble.

This is New York City.

We have all kinds here, including some who would just love to approach you at the bar you announced you'd be at tonight, at the time you said you'd be there...
Everyone in that subway car knows your names and "like" you were, "so hammered you hardly recall a thing" from the night before... So how would you know you hadn't met them last night.
Maybe they paid your bar tab.