Creativity and Ramblings from the heart of NYC and around the World

Tuesday, April 01, 2008

Another Year, Another Change

Ahhh China.

It can be emotional to visit a place that has so many diverse memories. For me, this stop in my travels carries more than most. Mostly good, some great...and a few heartbreaking.

I've shown my parents and loved ones my world here. I've also, over the years, had relationships ended while here, including the most recent.

Looking around my office I still can't help but see M sitting here trimming her hat for Kirsten (her American Girl doll). That was such a good day -- amazing that it was but a mere year ago.

The wheel rolls on. We strive to strike a balance. These days I'm still on the lower part of that see-saw. Keeping very busy when home. Adjusting my plans for the future. Trying to pick up the pieces. Trying to figure out how to be single again...just an I rather than a we. It takes longer at this age than you might think. Being in China, without my team of able-bodied diners, dancers, opera and movie goers...nor time to do these things, I'm left with all too much time on my hands to think. (Sometimes too much thought isn't healthy.)

I have no regrets though. These experiences have shaped me into the woman I am today (which if I do say so is not half bad at all.)

I would have liked the chance to have a final chat, preferably a face-to-face, with M to tell her just how much I've grown to love and adore her over these last two years. What a wonderful and special friend she was to me and just how much I'll miss our time and adventures together. I hope she knows she can always call on me should she need anything.

Who knows...perhaps when she gets older, she'll run across this post and read it all for herself. Grand things lay ahead in her future, I just know it.