Creativity and Ramblings from the heart of NYC and around the World

Thursday, September 06, 2007

Think Good Thoughts

Life...Life rolls along with a speed that increases the older we get. There are no brakes that we can control, just marginal steering.

This summer has rolled along at top speed. Partially because I shared it with an energetic 8-yr-old...and partially because I have had so much upon my plate (by choice for the most part.)

My brakes were pulled. Monday morning. Labor Day.

My dearest friend called to let me know she had been told a few mere hours before, on Sunday, that the results from her lumpectomy were received by her surgeon on Sunday and...she has Breast Cancer. I. Am Still. In Shock.

Like any of you out there who have been touched by this, I'm sure you know the feelings.

I want to fix it. I'm a fixer. It's what I do. I want to look at it logically and break it down and fix it. Find the solution. Make it stop. Bring it back to where things were before.

It's not fair. She is 34.

Helpless. I feel helpless. Not only can I not "do" anything -- but she lives across our dear country in California so even simple things like a cup of tea and a hug in person won't be possible for another month.

I leave Tuesday for a month of traveling. A month. So much can happen in a month.

There are added complications and stresses involved which I won't get into...a month is a very long time. I can tell you I have planned my fall to be able to make as many trips out to California as I can.

Life here in NYC is still rolling along. Work is busy. Books are being read (I'm 1/2 way through the 6th Harry Potter determined to wrap it up and only bring book 7 along on the trip.) Socks are being knit (I'm almost done with the Undulating Rib Socks!!) The garden is being harvested -- this weekend looks like pesto time! (I make pesto and freeze it in ice cube trays - crack the cubes into a ziplock and voila - pesto for one or two all fall long!

Dan and I went to see the Mariners vs. Yankees game here in the Bronx last night. Sadly his team was beaten...well...spanked in the 7th inning...but it was an enjoyable night none-the-less!
I'm looking forward to tomorrow night (Taking Allegra out for her birthday dinner), Saturday night (company coming to town and we're going to a fashion show under the Tent in Bryant Park followed by a soiree WAY WAY uptown), Sunday (hopefully an opera matinee) followed by an organic wine tasting later that night...
So much to squeeze in before I leave for 27 days of working nearly straight (one day off in Italy to spend with Tatiana - yeah!!)

Life rolls along... but I still wish I could FIX it.

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Blogger Sorka said...

I always think good thoughts when I think of you.. now I will send them west.. being there to listen is an important thing that you can do even from far away..
You do what you can, from where you are.. and from what I have seen you are quite good at that.. so don't quit now!

10:51 PM

Anonymous Dani said...

I am sorry to hear of your friends diagnosis. I know that being who you are, you will shower this person with your warmth, and kindness and that support will mean the world to her. I also know that feeling of wanting to fix things - when you love as passionately as you do, protecting those who matter becomes almost an obsession. Just remember that you ARE doing something - you are giving her a safe place to talk, to explore her fears, to cry when she wants to, scream when she wants to, heal when she needs to, laugh as often as she can.... That gift of friendship, while seemingly natural and obvious IS doing something, and as invaluable!

And just remember that you too have that safety zone of people who feel the same way about you!

Hugs to you and of course, healthy healing comforting thoughts will be focused on your friend out west!

7:47 AM


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